systemtap not initializing correctly on Ubuntu 12 (Precise)

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http://serverfault.com – I work at a firm with a certain amount of legacy batch-processes. Some of that stuff is really leaky when it comes to database connections. I need to log every process in the system, which opens a database connection. Strace is not a option, there are too many processes, they are too short lived, I need to audit multiple boxes. IPtables is not an option, you can match on process path/user but you cannot log that information (to the best of my knowledge) The usual tools such as lsof/netstat etc, only contain information about processes that are alive and what connections they are using. (HowTos)