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Remove ALL notifications?

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http://androidforums.com – Hey there everyone. I'm a brand new Android user, and the thing that gets me most are notifications. Is there any way, or any application, or any post-root method, to remove notifications altogether? I can't just go into each app and "turn off" notifications, as some apps do not allow their notifications to be turned off (such as the mail app provided by my carrier, au/KDDI). Adfree isn't an option, as that only blocks ads. I also want to block system messages, etc. You know, exactly what I mean by "ALL." Any ideas? Aside from installing a custom ROM. (General)